WOMEN ARE BETTER SHOPPERS: EVEN FOR SEX!

Now that former New York governor has resigned amid revelations he was a client of an elite prostitution ring, several lingering questions remain.

Were the thousands of dollars Spitzer paid hookers from taxpayers’ money? Will he be charged for transporting a woman across state lines for sexual purposes? Will his wife leave him?

Then there is the bigger question haunting many women (and a few men, I would guess) since the $2000-$5000 rates per hour of horizontal refreshment first hit the headlines: What exactly DO these women do for that kind of money? (More to the point, what do these hookers do that isn’t being done, can’t be done, hasn’t been tried at home for the bubble?)


There used to be a myth that young men dated “nice” girls but married “good” girls. This not only separated the men from the boys, but it also separated the sexually active from the virginal where girls were concerned.


Then after Woodstock, drugs and free love, the sexual revolution gained momentum, peaked, and finally seemed to stabilize with generally accepted pre-marital sex and a higher tolerance for what used to be called “sexual gymnastics.” By the time the Lewinsky story unfolded with no less than the president of the United States making a distinction between oral sex and “sexual relations with that woman,” the nation shook its head in disapproval, but it did not swoon in puritanical shock.


Now wives and significant others meet in small groups for the 21st century version of the old Tupperware party. Instead of salad spinners, however, they buy the latest in sex toys for their own bedrooms (or motel rooms.) So today’s average sexually active couple seems to have the same motivation, equipment and capability as Client #9. Her post-partum stretch marks and his emerging beer gut are compensated for by an assumed bond of affection we call a “relationship.”


Perhaps that is the problem for men like Mr. Spitzer (and now, we find, for his gubernatorial successor and the new first lady of New York as well.) Maybe it’s about the boredom of the same-old-same-old that makes a $5000 an hour hooker so desirable.


There was a time when wives who recognized the male need for diversity tried to “become” other partners. Out of this French maid and cheerleader costume fantasies were born.


So while the male quest for diverse sexual experiences has been recognized, little has been said about the female partner’s equal frustration and boredom after years of the same partner with the same moves and too often the same unfulfilling result. So women too have gone on to seek sexual highs elsewhere and now almost match male levels in experience, diversity and unfaithfulness.

My guess is, however, that women have not been willing to buy sex at the $5000 an hour level, and with good reason: they know that the generic brand is usually just as good as the high-priced item. So if women decide to get a little something on the side, for a change of pace or to see how the other half lives, they are usually looking for free samples. And they usually find them!
They’re just better comparison shoppers than men are.
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THE (37th) BEST HEALTH CARE IN THE WORLD

John McCain should stop flashing a spotlight on what he doesn’t know. He’s already pleaded ignorance about the economy, which, in the current recession, is a big problem. More recently he is fond of noting, incorrectly, that we have “the best health care in the world.”

In a globally televised March 4th speech almost as exciting as a Cialis commercial McCain said this again. In a flat, barely audible voice, he read haltingly from a teleprompter high above his head, forcing him to look heavenward as if seeking divine aid. Periodically, McCain winced inexplicably as if speaking were painful for him. His concluding remarks were drowned out by a torrent of falling confetti and balloons. (The words, “ John McCain is too old and feeble for this.” did not flash across the screen, but they might as well have.) Still, his facts are wrong.

The presidential hopeful ought to read the World Health Organization’s rankings of global health systems, which places the U.S. at 37th. France and Italy top that list, and most of Europe, Costa Rica and even Colombia are ranked higher than the U.S.

Cuba, the government American politicians love to hate, is just below the U.S. on the WHO list.

Though Americans have been brainwashed into thinking they have “the best” health care, those who venture abroad and end up in foreign health facilities are often pleasantly surprised at the courtesy, skill and efficiency of the hospital systems. They are especially impressed that it’s all free.

More stunning, countries with government-regulated health care provide decent services for anyone who needs them—even doubting and degrading Americans of the “Show ‘em a buck and they speak English.” variety. Young, old, rich or poor, native, naturalized or visiting, no one is turned away. It’s not perfect, but it is no less perfect than the U.S. system, plus it’s free.

Those who wish to may pay for additional top professionals from their own country or elsewhere, but even wealth does not preclude eligibility for free government health care.

The web site http://www.photius.com/rankings/healthranks.html raises amazing questions.

How do they do it? (By avoiding massive defense spending, for one thing.)

Why do they do it? (Because in at least 36 civilized countries in the world, the public health and welfare is more of a priority than it is in the U.S.)

Why can’t the U.S. match the health delivery records of countries like Andorra, Chile and Costa Rica, all ranked above it? (Because the medical and pharmaceutical lobbies that own America’s politicians are more powerful than the voters who allegedly elect lawmakers.)

With Medicaid and Medicare headed for bankruptcy, prescription drugs grossly unaffordable and health insurance widely unavailable for too many Americans, McCain’s military blindness to national faults may be one of the most dangerous-- and least obvious-- flaws in his candidacy.

While the Clinton and Obama national health insurance proposals aren’t perfect, McCain’s “even greater privatization” plan ignores the embarrassing reality that the richest and most-powerful superpower, enslaved by private health insurers, would rather leave citizens ailing, wounded and unattended than care for them.

National security smokescreens only mask America’s growing public health crisis. Better for John McCain to wake up, answer the “red phone” and hear the national cry for real economic and health care solutions, now!

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