Î.Â. ßçûêîâ óËÕÔÅÒ × ÎÁÌÉÞÉÉ as well as Ëå÷åíèå çóáîâ and íÏÖÎÏ ÎÁ ÚÁËÁÚ
I have no idea if, in sharing these phrases from a Spam email I received, with you the readers, I am asking my editors to print something obscene, threatening to the national security, or detrimental to my own reputation.
But I have decided to bite this bullet and write about how insane (and inane) it is that I (and all of you with email) continue to get several Spam messages a day written in the proverbial “Greek to me.” I don’t even know what language most of these messages are in.
I realize that bloggers, hacks and web perverts trying to seduce us to websites selling all manner of garbage to view and/or buy are emailing to a global audience. But doesn’t it occur to these idiots that people who can’t read their message are not going to play their game?
If it is a matter of using a language that is recognizable to the largest possible audience I would expect to see more messages in languages that use the Roman alphabet, or Japanese, Chinese and other script used by huge numbers of literate peoples. Instead, we get this mystery alphabet—maybe Greek, maybe Coptic—who knows?
More insulting are the mass mailings from those con men and women who write to us in broken English. Barnum was right when he said there was a sucker born every minute, but how many suckers are going to invest money to help an alleged widow of a diplomat or supposed African businessman who can’t communicate with them for openers?
If I were really the winner of all the lotteries and free prizes I am told I won every day (in emails unopened and reported by me as Spam) I would be the luckiest person ever. With that kind of good fortune I would spend less time checking my emails (or writing columns) and more time at the nearest racetrack or casino. I would also own about 22 BlackBerries, 35 Razr phones and even e few new iPhones.
I would never have to cook again were I willing to believe that every meal at Applebee’s, Red Lobster and other chain eateries I wouldn’t subject my dog to were really available gratis to me and my family. If these e-hucksters really expect most of us to turn over our most personal information so we can have our bank accounts pirated and our credit ratings ruined, don’t they realize they are going to have to offer more than a free cup of chowder or a bowl of chili?
So let’s challenge those who think we are all dumb enough to fall for their snake oil emails.
Write to us in a language we can understand, with an offer we can’t refuse. Better yet, take us off ALL your lists.
Or, as they say in Bosnia, Siberia, or wherever many of you come from, “ Î.Â. ßçûêîâ óËÕÔÅÒ × ÎÁÌÉÞÉÉ .” and also,” Ëå÷åíèå çóáîâ …” and, “ íÏÖÎÏ ÎÁ ÚÁËÁÚ !”
- ► 2008 (17)